Funny Newspaper Headlines

I enjoy clever or unintentionally funny newspaper headlines. Stephen Fry pointed out a couple on his Twitter page so here they are, plus a few favourites of my own.

Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix in 200 meters.

Reuters 2010

No surprise that Stephen likes this one. It reminds me of the famous cricket commentary “The batsman’s Holding the bowler’s Willey”.

Butler Handjob Gives Wheatley Semi 2010

Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic are Atrocious

The Sun

Scottish football team Caledonian Thistle (nicknamed Caley) unexpectedly beat favourites Celtic. There’s an article about this and other football headlines on the Guardian’s website

Mile High Mandy Gets Randy on Brandy

The Sun, 2000

Amanda Holt had too much to drink in business class on an American Airlines flight from Dallas to Manchester. A fellow passenger, David Machin, (who was a complete stranger) and Amanda, had a sexual encounter in front of outraged passengers and staff. They were both fined at Manchester Crown Court and lost their jobs. Quite a sad story but a great headline. How come I never sit next to anyone like that?

Federal Agents Raid Gun Store, Find Weapons

I’m not sure which newspaper published this headline but it is one of a several funny ones on

Police: Crack Found in Man’s Buttocks

More of those here:

Please send me your favourites.


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